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Title: To Forgive
Author: Cheeky_eyes
Rating: G
Genre: General
Pairings: None
Theme: 17) Awkward
Summary:
The last time they had been in the same vicinity, and aware of it, the world had been ending. Now he had to face her and Yubel was accountable for quite a few crimes, and Johan wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

xxx

 

It was quiet in the Osiris dorm, not that that wasn’t the norm around there now days. It was all but abandoned when it could be, as the younger red students generally left the top floor alone whenever they could out of an unspoken agreement. Even Rei had started to leave him alone during that term, although that hadn’t been her idea and her room was still up there. Inside Juudai’s room it was also quite as Johan was leaning against the windowsill while Juudai leant against his bed and neither of them were speaking. Yubel half hid in the shadows, not out of fear but because she simply liked that spot. His family filled the other side of the room. None of the Spirits could be seen by their partners, as Juudai had made it clear that he wanted to speak to Johan alone for some reason. Although if she were hanging around the Gem Beasts weren’t going anywhere anyway.

 They hadn’t really talked since Juudai’s battle with Darkness, as he had too much school work to finish and Johan had to sort out his own graduation with Ichinose. Both he and O’Brian wouldn’t be returning to their schools until after the graduation, as his wasn’t until a few weeks later and O’Brian, being in the southern hemisphere, wasn’t even close to graduating, or something. He had accidentally tuned out what O’Brien had been saying the other day as Ruby had been trying to jump off the window and it had been distracting to say the least.  Juudai shifted a bit in front of him, finally deciding to get to the point and start talking.

“You remember me telling you about the Light of Ruin right,” he asked rhetorically as Johan nodded, sounding almost nervous. “And how Yubel went crazy because of it.” Again Johan nodded, realizing the vague direction this was going.

“And how she’s now fused with me,” Juudai paused once again, this time tilting his head as if someone were speaking to him. ‘Most likely Yubel’ Johan correctly assumed as he looked around the all but abandoned dorm.   

“So you know what she did,” Juudai continued as if he’d never paused. He stopped again and gave Johan a sheepish grin.

“Are you ok with this?” he asked. Johan didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what his answer was. What she had done had been insane and wrong, but as Juudai had pointed out a lot of that had to do with the Light. And Juudai seemed fine with her, but despite that she had hurt his family, and that was unforgivable.

“Ok with what exactly” he asked slowly, realising a semi awkward silence had fallen over them. Juudai evidently hadn’t been expecting that answer, as it floored him. He shrugged. An exasperated sigh could be heard before Yubel herself appeared before them.

“Honestly Juudai, this is how you draw me out?” she asked with a twinge of a smile as she turned to face Johan. He looked back at her, keeping his face neutral. Still out of sight the Gem Beasts stirred, but waited to see what she would do before they decided to appear themselves.

The last time they had been in the same vicinity, and aware of it, the world had been ending. It had been dramatic and crowded enough that they could ignore one another with ease. The fact that only two other people had been around at the time, and could also see her, made it easier. He’d been preoccupied in making sure Fujiwara was alright while she was doing the same for Juudai, albeit more subtly. Of course the time before that she had been in possession of his body and when he’d finally came too everyone left was a little preoccupied with stopping her and he’d been too weak to do anything anyway.

Now he had nowhere to hide as he faced her for pretty much for the first time since their three way duel in the Sand World. Clearly it had been Juudai’s idea she appear, and when he’d been informed of what happed in the Dark World before he’d left Duel Academy the first time but she hadn’t shown herself and Juudai obviously had a problem with that. She certainly wouldn’t be revealing herself now if Juudai hadn’t forced her but that was beside the point.

“Hello Johan,” she greeted monotonously as he nodded in reply.

“Yubel.” Silence fell once again over the dorm.

“Aniki!”Kenzan’s faint voice pierced the silence from outside. “Aniki!”

Juudai gave the other two an apologetic grin as he thankfully ran from the room to see what Kenzan wanted, surprisingly leaving Yubel behind. Equally shocking was the fact that she stayed. Johan watched as his family quickly appeared in a flash, some growling their disapproval. Yubel folded her arms over her chest and stared them down, waiting a moment before speaking.

“It concerns Juudai that you might distrust me,” she said nonchalantly, clearly this hadn’t been her first choice of action.

“Do you still want him for yourself?” Johan shot back warily. Yubel made a non-conformational noise.

“I would prefer it, but his happiness is more important to me then that, and you and the others make him happy. So as long as you do I’ll share.”

“How gracious of you,” Johan replied dryly, his family watching their every move intently. From outside they could hear Juudai and Kenzan’s muffled conversation, but no one was willing to make a sound inside the dorm room. Yubel smiled softly as she listened to them, but her face slid back to its nonchalant mask as quickly as it had slipped. The silence deepened and entered awkward territory, at least for Johan. His family were on too high alert to feel anything else and no one ever knew what Yubel felt from one moment to the next.
A minute passed as the silent battle raged on and Johan began to wonder if he should say something, anything really. Though what could he say though? What did you say in situations like this? She had done horrible things to his family and had been the cause of their separation among other things. She had also done terrible things to himself, to the school, to Juudai. Was he supposed to forgive her? If what Juudai said was true then the Light was mostly responsible for her behaviour, and actions. Even if they had to be based in some feelings of hers, just where did it stop being entirely her fault? She had been possessed, like he had been; more so then Juudai had been whilst Haou. As far as he knew everyone agreed he was relatively innocent in all of this and had forgiven Juudai for his grievous mistake.

Johan frowned slightly. She was apart of Juudai now, and he’d forgiven her. Accepted her. Juudai was his best friend and he trusted his judgment. What kind of friend would he be if didn’t at least try to see where she was coming from.

At that moment Juudai re-entered the room and Yubel thankfully retreated into the shadows. His family relaxed a bit but stayed poised in position. Now that Johan thought about it, their silence was a little odd. Juudai looked at him again, still somewhat sheepish and Johan smiled.

“It’s ok Juudai. I’m ok with it,” he said softly. He felt his family bristle at that, but he’d explain it to them later. Even if they didn’t understand (he didn’t quite understand it himself, but that was beside the point) he didn’t expect them to agree with his decision. They could make their own.

Juudai smiled back. It wasn’t forgiveness but he hadn’t been expecting that. The only one he wanted to apologise was Yubel for the Gem Beasts had been bad enough while they were trapped in the other dimension with him; he hated to think what Johan would have been like during that week for at least the Gem Beasts had had each other. 

“Great, I’m sure it’s dinner time anyway. Let’s go!” he said happily rapidly changing tracks. Johan laughed.

“Sure, go on ahead. I’ll meet you there,” he replied as Juudai glanced at the Gem Beasts and left the room again, realising what Johan was doing. Johan turned to face his family.

“You forgave her,” Sapphire Pegasus said with a hint of hostility that wasn’t aimed at Johan.

“Juudai is my friend. I’ll accept her for him,” Johan replied slowly. Ruby jumped off Amber Mammoth’s back from where she had been perched the whole time and ran up his shoulder. He reached up to pat her as she nuzzled in.

“She did horrible things,” Topaz Tiger pointed out. “She made you, and us, do horrible things.” Johan nodded.

“Yes, but so did Juudai, from what I was told. And we’ve all forgiven him. Besides, she is apart of him now,” it was the best explanation he could give as he still didn’t quite understand himself.

“Well I don’t trust her,” Topaz Tiger huffed as Amethyst Cat hissed softly in agreement. Johan smiled slightly.

“I don’t expect you too.”

xxx

Juudai softly closed the door behind him. He was glad Johan had accepted her, even if he hadn’t quite forgiven her. He may not have said as much, but it had been clear from the way he’d spoken and held himself that it would take time. But he was fine with that.

He was surprised he was able to read as much, at the start of the year he would have missed the subtleties of that exchange but he suspected Yubel had a lot to do with that. He had grown in the past year it was true, but she wasn’t all that fond of Johan herself.

“So everything is good now?” Yubel asked, standing behind him with her wings at full wingspan looking up at the sun.

“Show off,” Juudai muttered good naturedly before replying. “Yeah. So you apologised right?”

His question was met with silence as she looked the other way.

“Yubel?”

Date: 2011-02-08 08:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] speaky-bean.livejournal.com
Oh my god. That was...that was...wow, I'm struggling to find the words. It was incredible. The topic of how all the characters come to terms with what happened in the Dark World is one I find rather fascinating, and this interpretation was just painful. What happened to Johan was horrible and invasive and disgusting, and it must have been incredibly difficult for him to even be in the same room as Yubel. The fact that he actually forgave her for Judai's sake speaks worlds about his devotion to him. And just, the nerve of Yubel! "You might not trust me", really? As if she hasn't done anything wrong? Jesus Christ. Ahahah, I'm getting riled up about this. Seriously, this fic impacted me quite strongly. I'm really impressed by it, I think this is how Johan would react. You managed to talk about some very powerful things without being melodramatic, but you still left me feeling like I was going to vomit. In a good way. Because it was so intense.

...I hope that review makes any sense. I tend to be incoherent when I'm really impressed with things.

And I liiivvveee...

Date: 2011-02-12 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheeky-eyes.livejournal.com
...Apparently. Sorry I kind of disappeared for a while. My Mum has been in and out of hospital and it's been quite hectic here.

*Blushes* Aw thanks! Yubel and Johan post season three are very interesting to write, Yubel just does not care about anyone other the Juudai pretty much at all and he also cares deeply for him. The Light of Ruin did play a part in Yubel's actions that's true, but I'm sure it didn't act on anything that wasn't already there. Yubel really does have some nerve though that is true.
Any reconciliation between the two is going to be painful, especially if it is set not too lng after it happened. (Which just after they all return doesn't seem to be right for that as Juudai was trying to distance himself from everyone and it would have been way to fresh. But after Darkness seems to be just right for it.) It's not just them to consider too; although just that would be painful in itself but the Gem Beasts also have to be considered, although I place that as happening much later. But Johan, as much as he cares for is family, is also very fond of Juudai and while he may not like her he would accept her for him. I’m glad that all came through alright. ^^

As someone who can be incoherent herself it made sense. ^^ I'm glad you enjoyed it though! Now I'm off to see if there is anything else I need to reply too... ^^;

Re: And I liiivvveee...

Date: 2011-02-12 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] speaky-bean.livejournal.com
Ahh, that's totally understandable. *hugs* I'm sorry you're mom's been in the hospital. I hope whatever's going on isn't anything too serious, and that she'll be okay soon. My mother's had a lot of health problems as well, so I know how much that sort of thing can suck. Best of luck to you and your mom. ♥

About the fic...yeah, the light of ruin had something to do with it, but that doesn't make what happened any less horrifying. It's like saying that if someone beats you half to death because they're drunk, it's okay because it wasn't their fault, they were drunk. Regardless of Yubel's motives or intentions or reasons, she still possessed Johan and forced him to fight against his friends, locked him up, and just overall put him through an awful experience. I can certainly see why he'd have reservations about her. I can also see why Yubel would feel "concerned"...she doesn't want there to be friction between herself and Judai, so she wants Judai's friends to be okay with her. I can see Johan accepting her for Judai's sake, but I also see him having a really hard time with it, and yeah, I think your fic captured that perfectly. I really loved it! Overall I think your writing is really excellent, so every so often when I get the time I poke around on your journal to see what I haven't read yet. XD;

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July 2011

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